ππππ’ππ¬! (ππ¬π©πππ’ππ₯π₯π² π¬π’π§π π₯π π₯πππ’ππ¬)
Sep 13, 2024
I’ve learned something super important about myself that I feel obligated to share.
ππ¨π¦πππ’π¦ππ¬ π°π πππ π’π§ ππππ πππ ππππ. 
But it’s not what we have previously thought.
It’s not that we are too emotional.
Or too needy.
Or too big, bright, bold, magnificent.
It’s actually much much simpler than that.
It’s that we do too much for someone before they have earned it.
It’s that we offer too much of ourselves and our lives before we have even gotten to know if someone is worthy of our time and attention (and acknowledging that everyone is technically “worthy”, but are they willing to reciprocate?)
It’s that we share too much of who we are before someone has given us strong signals that they see the potential that WE have, and they’re interested in investing time, energy and most importantly ACTION, into us.
We have a blessing and a curse.
We can see the good in all people.
Which means we see what they can become. We act as if they are already that, before they have shown us one single thing in real life that they are acting on their potential.
In doing so, we set an extremely low bar for reciprocated action and effort.
Because people don’t value what they don’t have to earn.
Hey… I know this sucks and I know you DO value what you don’t have to earn, but this is a simple human program, that you don’t have to like. It’s just true.
Have you ever thought 
Why do so many people undervalue me? Why was I so unmatched in so many relationships? Why do people take me for granted? Or just assume I’m always going to be at their beck and call?
Why do so many people undervalue me? Why was I so unmatched in so many relationships? Why do people take me for granted? Or just assume I’m always going to be at their beck and call?THIS 
You are being too much.
Too open.
Too available.
Too accommodating.
Too rearranging.
Too congenial.
Too accessible.
Too thoughtful.
Too considerate.
You are giving all the perks of being in a committed relationship with you, without the commitment.
When you open yourself fully when someone hasn’t earned the right to see you, they disregard what you show them.
When you cater to someone else’s schedule or needs, without a thought for your own, you teach them not to care about your needs.
It’s time for some boundaries.
It’s time to hold back.
It’s time to say “We’ll see” instead of “Oh you want me? Let’s go! You can have all of me, and all my money and you can move in with me right now. Is there anything else you need?”
“But I should just be able to be myself. I don’t want to play any games” you think to yourself (ask me how I know 
)
)But honey, do you even know who you are? What if every single dating behavior you have is actually just a trauma response?
What if you could learn some new behaviors that you could build into the next version of you that has you being consistently valued and treated with absolute respect?
Bottom line: Sometimes you do need to hold back. It’s just not with your magnificence. 
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