... especially if you're a leader.

You may be terrified of judgement or alienating your community when you openly share the hardships of your journey (you will be judged - more about that in point 3), but it MUST be done. 

 It is vital that you share your experience with as many of the raw, tender details as you feel comfortable (because it is still your sacred experience, you are fully entitled to keep as much of it private as you want to) 

𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐬: 

𝟏 ) 𝐖𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲.

Many of us are carving the way for the first time. There is no one who has gone before us. 

This is why there is so much self-doubt because there are no markers to reassure us we are heading in the right direction. No one’s journey to compare to to say “Okay… they went through this too. That’s good. Onwards!” 

That means WE are the ones carving the path for those who come behind us. 

We are the ones leaving signs on the road that say “Watch out for the quick sand on your left!” 

 OR 

 “I know this forest is dark and scary, but you’re going the right way!” 

 OR 

 “That field of butterflies looks amazing - careful, they will devour you with their razor sharp teeth” 

 That happens when we share our successes and our struggles openly. People can follow behind and say “Oh good. They also went through crippling self-doubt. I’m not alone traveling this way. I’ll just keep going” 

 They know they’re not “failing” and quit. They can recognize it’s part of the journey. 

 𝟐 ) 𝐈𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐦.

Presenting yourself as “having it all together all the time” reinforces the idea that your community has to be perfect and have it all together before they can even begin their own work. 

They’ll never get there. They’ll never start. 

When you share your humanity, it makes what you’re achieving accessible. 

You are showing your people that you are a human, just like them. And they can do it too… just like you. 

Also, if you aren’t being your real self, the people who are here to be guided by you won’t see you. They’ll see the veneer of who you are presenting as, but they won’t see the real you. So they’ll just walk on by. 

𝟑 ) 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐞𝐬. 

I mentioned you will be judged. For sure, you will. 

Because there are some people who only want someone who plays a leader on TV. They WANT a veneer. They want to follow someone whose success is unattainable to them. 

It’s the ultimate sabotage mechanism. 

When you look up to someone who’s success seems unattainable because they have it altogether and always do everything right, your 𝑢𝑛𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑠𝑐𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑖𝑚𝑢𝑙𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑒𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑙𝑦 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑏𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑖𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢’𝑙𝑙 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑏𝑒 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑓𝑒𝑐𝑡. 

It lets you off the hook. You may as well stop challenging yourself, or trying so hard… you may as well just settle and “be happy with where you are at” because it’s impossible for you to have anything different. 

It’s a get-out-of-jail-free card. 

When you show your humanity to your community, you agitate their humanity - particularly the wounds that are surfacing to be resolved. THAT’S the POINT!!! 

To shine a light on anything that isn’t them so they can get down to the only things that ARE them. 

Superhero leaders don’t challenge their communities because that’s not the point. The point is to deliver feel-good fluff and create a dependency on the dopamine hit of “My life is perfect and unattainable, so the closest you’ll get to it is in your fantasies about living a life like mine”. Bypassing the actual work. Everyone is too wrapped up in delusion to actually be in the trenches making headway on their growth or purpose. 

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐬: 

My favorite: They will start relaxing into their own humanity with blanket permission from you.  No better impact you could have 

Relief in your people as their bodies relax knowing that all of us are human, and their dreams are possible 

A compelling magnetism magically bringing people out of the woodwork because your particles are pinging their particles in time and space with your authenticity (which is the strongest frequency) 

Your intuition and creativity feel more accessible and in flow since you’re no longer filtering the words that come out of your mouth for how they will be perceived by your community. 

Acceptance!!!! You will be more accepting of yourself (you’ll have to in order to show up as you). 

And all of this (as long as your relationship with money is in order) will enhance your bottom line, by default. 

This doesn’t mean use social media as a dumping ground therapist savior. 

It does mean be fucking REAL. 

You can do it. Your audience craves it. 

Let’s go  

 Abi